Funny sarcastic sarcasm quotes and sayings
The kind of humor I like is the thing that makes me laugh for five seconds and think for ten minutes. ~William Davis

Many a true word is spoken in jest. ~English Proverb

I think the next best thing to solving a problem is finding some humor in it. ~Frank A. Clark

If money makes the world go round, it’s humor that keeps it from spinning out of control. ~Craig Kimberley

Above all else: go out with a sense of humor. It is needed armor. Joy in one’s heart and some laughter on one’s lips is a sign that the person down deep has a pretty good grasp of life. ~Hugh Sidey

There is no defense against adverse fortune which is so effectual as an habitual sense of humor. ~Thomas W. Higginson

Let your humour always be good-humour, in the double sense of the phrase: if it comes from a bad humour, it is almost sure to be bad humour. ~Augustus William Hare and Julius Charles Hare, Guesses at Truth, by Two Brothers, 1827


Humor prevents one from becoming a tragic figure even though he/she is involved in tragic events. ~E.T. “Cy” Eberhart

Humor is the instinct for taking pain playfully. ~Max Eastman

A person without a sense of humor is like a wagon without springs — jolted by every pebble in the road. ~Henry Ward Beecher

Sometimes the best cure for life’s woes is a sense of humor. ~Frank Sonnenberg

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Nothing is more curious than the almost savage hostility that humor excites in those who lack it. ~George Saintsbury

Humor is… despair refusing to take itself seriously. ~Arland Ussher

Humor is a rubber sword – it allows you to make a point without drawing blood. ~Mary Hirsch

Wit.—Wit is the epitaph of an emotion. ~Friedrich Nietzsche, “Miscellaneous Maxims and Opinions” (#202, 1879), Human, All-Too-Human: A Book for Free Spirits, translated from German by Paul V. Cohn, 1913

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Funny sayinsg quotes tumblr 2015 2016

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Comedy is simply a funny way of being serious. ~Peter Ustinov

Comedy has to be based on truth. You take the truth and you put a little curlicue at the end. ~Sid Caesar

Warning: Humor may be hazardous to your illness. ~Ellie Katz

Wit has truth in it; wise-cracking is simply calisthenics with words. ~Dorothy Parker











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Latest 2015 funny quotes


Humor is a reminder that no matter how high the throne one sits on, one sits on one’s bottom. ~Taki

Humor is perhaps a sense of intellectual perspective: an awareness that some things are really important, others not; and that the two kinds are most oddly jumbled in everyday affairs. ~Christopher Morley

Humor is merely tragedy standing on its head with its pants torn. ~Irvin S. Cobb

Imagination was given to man to compensate him for what he is not; a sense of humor to console him for what he is. ~Francis Bacon

Humor results when society says you can’t scratch certain things in public, but they itch in public. ~Tom Walsh

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Humorous quotes, sayings, funny cards messages

An expert is a man who tells you a simple thing in a confused way in such a fashion as to make you think the confusion is your own fault. ~William Castle

If The Phone Doesn’t Ring, It’s Me. ~Song title by Jimmy Buffet

Man was predestined to have free will. ~Hal Lee Luyah

Maybe this world is another planet’s hell. ~Aldous Huxley

Murphy was an optimist. ~O’Toole’s Commentary

The only thing that stops God from sending another flood is that the first one was useless. ~Nicholas Chamfort

The remarkable thing about Shakespeare is that he really is very good, in spite of all the people who say he is very good. ~Robert Graves

The ships hung in the sky in much the same way that bricks don’t. ~Douglas Adams

The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us. ~Bill Watterson, Calvin and Hobbes

Today is the last day of some of your life. ~Author Unknown

Without geography, you’re nowhere. ~Author Unknown

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Humorous funny quotes, cards, sayings and images


A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized. ~Fred Allen

Say what you will about the Ten Commandments, you must always come back to the pleasant fact that there are only ten of them. ~H.L. Mencken

A compromise is an agreement whereby both parties get what neither of them wanted. ~Author Unknown

A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking. ~Attributed to Arthur McBride Bloch

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