Humorous quotes, sayings, funny cards messages

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An expert is a man who tells you a simple thing in a confused way in such a fashion as to make you think the confusion is your own fault. ~William Castle

If The Phone Doesn’t Ring, It’s Me. ~Song title by Jimmy Buffet

Man was predestined to have free will. ~Hal Lee Luyah

Maybe this world is another planet’s hell. ~Aldous Huxley

Murphy was an optimist. ~O’Toole’s Commentary

The only thing that stops God from sending another flood is that the first one was useless. ~Nicholas Chamfort

The remarkable thing about Shakespeare is that he really is very good, in spite of all the people who say he is very good. ~Robert Graves

The ships hung in the sky in much the same way that bricks don’t. ~Douglas Adams

The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us. ~Bill Watterson, Calvin and Hobbes

Today is the last day of some of your life. ~Author Unknown

Without geography, you’re nowhere. ~Author Unknown

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